Dead Weight.. One Of The Killers Of Relationships

In a relationship, No matter how strong you are, you can only move a partner that is willing to be moved.

No one Partner in a relationship is strong enough to make the Relationship work .. it takes two to tangle.

Love can only cover a multitude of sins. But it can never cover for unwillingness.

When one Partner is unwilling to keep trying, it’s over! Like over for real. They may still be together for more years but it’s over just waiting to manifest at the slightest provocation.

Hardship, infidelity, lack of children, name them.. nothing will end that Relationship except one party or the both parties are unwilling to continue. If there is still a willingness inside, there will be a way to come out of all challenges.

Imagine that you are all set and ready to go out for an assignment and the person that is tied to you is lying on the floor unwilling to move or be moved. You can’t even drag the person along on the floor.. the person becomes Dead weight!!!

Some people in Some “So Called Relationships” are just living with a partner that has become DEAD WEIGHT… So they become stagnant too.

Their partner who was once zealous is now unwilling to move ahead in life hence they too are tied down and they can’t leave the relationship because of “what will people say“.

Meanwhile the only crime they committed to suffer such punishment of STAGNATION IN LIFE is that they fell in love with Someone.

Someone whom they felt loved them enough to stand and persevere with them through odd situations till they achieve their dreams together. Not knowing that at the slightest challenge, this lover will collapse like a pack of cards. Dead Weight!!

No one Partner can make a relationship work!!


I remember when I had major injuries on my both legs that refused to heal for ten years.

The injuries were so painful that I virtually lived at the mercy of pain killers for 10 years. The more I went for treatments the more the wounds were increasing. I even did surgery and it was still getting worse.

I was still singing in church programs with the bad legs while also praying that my legs will one day be healed but to no avail. When it got so bad I stopped working. At home I crawl from my bedroom to the convenience because of pain.

On this faithful day, I got tired of enduring the pains. And I said to my wife I am tired of trying. If God finds me important to his kingdom, He should not let me suffer this long.

Perhaps God doesn’t want my services anymore, He can take my life if He so wishes. Tears filled my eyes as I was giving up everything and getting ready for the worst. It wasn’t my fault. It was a health challenge after all.

At that point, nothing meant anything to me anymore. I told my wife, I have been trying to live on for years because of she and my daughters.. and now I was tired of trying.

Then she looked at me with feeling of heart break and asked me.. how will she cope? What will she tell the girls when they grow up? How will they feel about their dad when they find out he gave up trying to live for them? She kept asking questions…

The more she asked questions, the more I understood what heartbreak meant. I understood that my leaving her half way in this journey is the real example of heartbreak.

I needed to stay, to fight, to persevere till we conquer.. however tough and unrealistic it seemed, I needed to fight on for my family. Strength began to well up in my spirit.

She called on my elder sister who quickly began to pray over the phone and speaking words of life to me until I regained my strength to fight on.

If my willingness didn’t come back, Depression would have set in and that would have led to death and an uncertain future for my family.

Fast forward to this day, we are still happy together, Pastoring a young church and Raising our family together. God added a son to us later.

And my legs are perfectly healed so I work happily to support my family as much as possible. My children are happier with their parents alive striving for them. Their future is more secured.

Your battle may not be health related. It may be loss of Job that has led to hardship and embarrassments. Some times it’s difficult to put your acts together. Bills do not end and it can get to you mentally and you stop trying.

It could be loss of Trust for your spouse because of cheating or solid suspicion of cheating and you are worried sick about it. You just can’t imagine how you can continue with a cheating spouse..

Your issue may not be life threatning but it has threatened the relationship. It could be anything.. but right now the only solution you see is to QUIT TRYING.

Whatever makes you feel you can’t continue trying is what I am talking about right now. So you want to back out.


Prov 24:10 if thou faint in the day of adversity, your strength is little…

They say a problem shared is half solved. Let me add that ‘A problem understood is almost solved’


There are relationships everywhere with worse problems than yours and they are still hanging in to make it work. But you are already tired. THE problem IS NOT THE PROBLEM THE problem IS YOUR STRENGHT. If you decide to solve it, you will.


if you really want to solve problems with your partner, please forget about alternatives. The grass is always greener on the other side. If there are alternatives (guy or babe) in your mind, then you still have strength. Atleast you have strength to believe in that alternative.

If you can’t make it work in this relationship you can’t also make it work in another relationship. Statistics shows that most persons after their first divorce went ahead to have a second and third divorce.Stay one place let God help you.


Reflect on your purpose of getting into that relationship in the first place. What were your relationship goals? Do you still want to achieve them or you want to scatter the little foundation you have laid? How long will you keep building and scattering? If you want to start over, you can do that with the same person. Yes!

You don’t need a new Partner you need a renewed commitment to your relationship!!


If your partner is still committed to the relationship despite all your acts of indifference, then you better wake up fast before your partner’s remaining small energy dies out. Know that your attitude (whether you are at fault or not) is weakening your partner already.

Your dead weight is too heavy for your partner to carry. You have to Make it easy for someone to help you. You have to Make it easy for someone to love and support you. Restart your drive. And all things will fall in line.

If you don’t want to move backwards in your relationship then try to move forward because if you are stagnant you will likely go backwards. Start now and see the progress you will make in no time.

As a person, If you rate your purpose in life to be higher than your challenges, you will always win but if your purpose is not strong on your mind, even the smallest challenge will put you down.


If your partner is carrying DEAD WEIGHT the only thing you can do is to keep talking positive things to him or her. All your efforts will not work if your words are not rich. Keep speaking, your partner will rise again.

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All pictures are from Google.