lifestyle Young Men Alliance


Before you join a group to fight or campaign or struggle for a cause, know why they are doing it.

Before you join a friend to hate or fight another person, pls ask yourself some questions..

A little story

Years ago I had this experience of fighting a friend’s battle and i regretted it till today. My friend was been treated badly by someone he was loyal to (his boss at that time) and he kept coming over to my place to lament.

I was touched to the point that I decided to physically show my disapproval to his boss and it resulted into a malice between me and his boss. I never knew a bigger disappointment was coming to me from my friend whom I was fighting for.

To cut the long story short, at every slightest opportunity my friend whom I was fighting for will always go back to the oppressor and show loyalty.

So I was made to look like a fool for standing up to his boss on his behalf because he would still go back to submit to the same person despite all the maltreatment.

I even helped him get a better job through my own boss but he still went back to his former Boss after a while.

So I vowed I will never fight another man’s battle again. Before I join a fight I must see my gain if not, all man to his battle. This decision gave me peace.

Now look at a scenario in the bible

Acts 19:24-27

For a certain man named Demetrius, a silversmith, which made silver shrines for Diana, brought no small gain unto the craftsmen;

Whom he called together with the workmen of like occupation, and said, Sirs, ye know that by this craft we have our wealth.

Moreover ye see and hear, that not alone at Ephesus, but almost throughout all Asia, this Paul hath persuaded and turned away much people, saying that they be no gods, which are made with hands:

So that not only this our craft is in danger to be set at nought; but also that the temple of the great goddess Diana should be despised, and her magnificence should be destroyed, whom all Asia and the world worshippeth.

This is a popular story in the bible where Paul and Silas were beaten and thrown into jail. Many people know the story but they don’t read backwards to trace the real problem.

The real problem was that Paul’s preaching was making a lot of people turn to God hence the sellers of idols were loosing their business so they made up a lie against Paul so that his gospel will stop and their trade will continue.

It was in the same city that Paul casted out an evil spirit from a girl that was used by her master’s to prophesy for their personal gains.

Now when the men whose businesses were affected by the Preaching of Paul fought back they hid their real reason under another reason just to deceive people and achieve their aim. Take a look at verse 32

Acts 19:32

Some therefore cried one thing, and some another: for the assembly was confused: and the more part knew not wherefore they were come together.

In the verse above, you see that the majority of the people fighting Paul didn’t know why they were there in the first place.

A few men were campaigning for their PERSONAL GAIN. Acts19:24-25 but they covered it with RELIGION. Many were deceived and followed blindly.

Unfortunately, this scenario is happening now to many of us in every sphere of our lives.

Before you join a group of fighters, Get informed and take your own decisions today.

Life starts with a decision..

A lot of people don’t know how to take decisions but they are very good at following other people’s decisions.

When it matters most, You will take the blame or pain. You will take the fall for the decisions you made on ur job, health, family, relationship, name it.

Another story

I know a young man who left what he was doing and went to join an IPOB Rally did not concern him about four years ago. Young boys from the east were all demonstrating and hoping that the dream of Biafra will be achieved by their protests. Little did they know that the Govt guys were going to sweep them up.

This young man (and many others) ended up in police custody and his poor mother could do nothing to free him till after two years. Meanwhile their rally leaders could do nothing to free them from the police.

Social media fights

Some people just don’t have what to do with their data so they pick on anything they see on social media and start fighting free fights. Don’t join them unless you have an interest to protect.

You must not join the fight. You can just be an observer. Some times people have been too fast to pick sides and they ended up regretting their involvement. Just watch and observe.

You will be held accountable for all your decisions and comments.

If you will take the blame, then you should take out time to think through before making any decision. Truth is you are a product of all your decisions.

Let me help you with these few nuggets..

1. Don’t inherit enemies from your friends and family members. Instead ask questions and if you’re not satisfied, stay neutral because the reasons of their enemity does not involve you.

2. If you can’t beat them you must not join them, you can run away for your life. Life is not just two ways but three. There is negative, positive and neutral. Be the neutral. The reason problems linger is because we think life is two sides. The more the neutrals we have, the more problems are resolved.

3. Don’t be quick to judge or take sides. By all means hear from both sides or think out the different scenarios before taking action. Rumours are not created by mistake. They are deliberate ploys to tarnish people’s image to score cheap points.

4. Stay away from people who impose their stance on you without allowing you to contribute. Don’t fly an opinion that doesn’t reflect what you think or believe. If you can’t beat them, don’t join them, leave them..

5. Be bold enough to say your mind in the most peaceful way possible. Know that silence is consent so without creating a fight, say your opinion because on the long run it might be adhered to.

Many wives have had the opportunity to bring peace in their husband’s families when there was quarrels between him and his siblings. but just because they were selfish or afraid of telling their husbands the truth, the whole Family has fought each other till death while strangers who have been fuelling lies gain from their fights.

6. Know that people always want to manipulate others so be careful not to be manipulated. Know that people can lie more than the devil so take their words with a pinch of salt.

7. Know that some people come out if their homes prepared to do trouble that day and they will later spread the trouble to include innocent persons that never planned for trouble. Be wise and stick to your plans.

8. Don’t EVER join people to talk against someone that has done nothing to you. Let those that are affected talk.

9. Don’t hate a wife or husband because of what the other person told you. They will use you and settle


10. Don’t try to settle a matter when the persons involved did not ask you to help them settle it. Know that people know what they want and they know how to get what they want. So don’t be in a hurry to settle problems that does not concern you. It will hurt you.

Thanks for reading

Like, comment and share